Screenplay p163-165 by Vladimir and Olga May 3, 2007
Posted by enterpr1ze in screenplays.trackback
Hotel in Tenerif – Dinner room – Morning
JJ and Kathy are having breakfast. Maureen comes. <camera tracking>
MAUREEN(confused and surprised)<camera recharge>:
Is someone not coming for breakfast?
JJ(confused):
No, see…
KATHY(confused):
I am Kathy, I am a friend of JJ.
MAUREEN:
The trouble is, there is not really room for five on the table.
JJ:
If everyone else shows, Kathy and I will move.
KATHY(surprised):
Who is “everyone else”?
MAUREEN:
Martin and Jess. But Jess got brought home in a police car last night. So she might be having a lie-in.
<camera medium long shot + panning> Maureen goes to the buffet table.
<close up Kathy> Kathy looks, as she wants the explanation of what is happening.
Jess comes. We do not see her. On the screen only JJ and Kathy.
JESS:
Fuck me!<camera medium long shot on Jess and JJ> I feel so shit. Normally I would think a good puke might make me feel better. But I puked my whole insides up last night. There is nothing left.
KATHY(confused)<medium long shot on Jess, JJ and Kathy>:
I am Kathy.
JESS(surprised):
Hello. I am in such state I did not even realize I do not know you.
KATHY:
I am friend of JJ´s
JESS<camera close up>(Her eyes lit up ominously):
What sort of friend?
KATHY<reverse-angle shot>:
We just met yesterday
JESS:
And you are having breakfast together
JJ(angry):
Shut up, Jess!
JESS:
What have I said?
JJ:
It is what you are going to say.
JESS(ironically):
What am I going to say?
JJ(confused):
I have no idea.
JESS(looking at Kathy):
Have you met our mum and dad yet, Kathy?
<camera close up> Kathy´s eyes flicked nervously over to Maureen.
<camera reverse-angle>
JESS:
You are braver than me, JJ. I would not bring a one-night stand to the family breakfast table. It is fucking modern, man.
KATHY(looking at Maureen with a big astonishment):
That is your mother?
JJ:
Of course it is not my mother. We are not even the same nationality. Jess is being…
JESS(ironically):
Did he tell you he was a musician? I´ll bet he did. He always does. That is the only way e ever get a girlfriend. I´ll bet bet he said he was a singer, right?(<camera medium shot on Kathy>Kathy nodded and looks at JJ) That is a laugh. Sing for her, JJ. You should hear him. Fucking hell.
JJ:
Kathy saw my band.
(Kathy looks at JJ, because she was remembering, that JJ told it her himself. <camera medium shot on Maureen>Maureen comes with croissants and sat down.)
MAUREEN:
What are we going to do if Martin comes down? There is no room.
JESS<medium long shot on Jess>(cries loudly):
Oh, no. Aaaaaagh.. Help! We´ll just panic, I s´pose.
KATHY<medium long shot>:
Maybe I should make a move.(Kathy leaves)
Reading Hornby's "A long way down" 
good! it is very clearly arranged, I like it
I think this is a very good screenplay. I didn’t know how to make it better. But decide whether you take punctuation marks or not. 🙂
This is a neat sceneplay, I like the fact that the facial expressions are in a such detailled way. It is organised and easy to follow.
I think your screenplay is very good. The part in the book is chosen very well and could not say anything what you maybe could do better, because I like it a lot.
This is a really well written screenplay. I like it that you have shorten it and just brought the most important sentences so that you can still understand what happens. I think there are some formal mistakes, the direct speech should have been indented. I can imagine the situation you chose very well because of your detailed camera – movement – information and the other details you added about what the persons are doing and how they are talking.
Your idea of this scene and the screenplay is good.At some points other camera commands are a little bit better, but it`s ok.
I really like your screenplay because it’s so detailed and the scene is chosen very well. Good work don’t know what you could do different.
What I like about your script most is the fact that you gave info on the way the persons speak (confused …) That makes it easy to imagine. Maybe the structure is not as it is supoosed to be but it’s not that easy with that programme anyway …
Your screenplay is very good. For me is it very logical and you explained the camera positions exactly. I can imagine this scene.