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Screenplay page 13-14 Martin May 2, 2007

Posted by lenchen in screenplays.
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EXT. TOPPER’S HOUSE – ON THE ROOF – NIGHT

 low angle shot: viewer just sees Martins soles.

camera tilts up:

Martin is sitting on the edge of the roof. He is staring into space while he is dangling his feet and smoking.

focus moves from the foreground to the background

Maureen arrives behind Martin and tappes him on the shoulder.

camera switchs to the over-the-shoulder perspective behind Maureen.

Martin turns round.

camera switches between the speaking persons in each case in the over-the-shoulder perspective.

MAUREEN

I know you.

 MARTIN

How?

MAUREEN

From the television.

MARTIN

Oh, for Christ’s sake. I was about to kill myself, but never mind, there’s always time for an autograph. Have you got a pen? Or a bit of paper? And before you ask, she’s a right bitch who will snort anything and fuck anybody. What are you doing up here anyway?

MAUREEN

I was … I was going to jump, too. I wanted to borrow your ladder.

 MARTIN

Be my guest.

MAUREEN

I’ll wait until … Well, I’ll wait.

MARTIN

So you’re just going to stand there and watch?

 MAUREEN

No. Of course not. You’ll be wanting to do it on your own, I’d imagine.

MARTIN

You’d imagine right.

 MAUREEN

I’ll go over there.

camera goes to the medium perspective 

Maureen gestured to the other side of the roof

MARTIN

I’ll give you a shout on the way down.

He laughs but she doesn’t.

Come on. That wasn’t a bad gag. In the circumstances.

MAUREEN

I suppose I’m not in the mood, Mr Sharp.

Martin laughs. Maureen went to the other side of the roof, and sat down with her back against the far wall.

 

Eva und Marlen

 

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Comments»

1. jenny5 - May 9, 2007

I really like your screenplay…because you can imagine how the actors have to play and how the camera have to move. I think everything is good structured and clear.

2. knuffelmock - May 9, 2007

Sceneplay is organised and well structured. The camera commands are easy to imagine. Well done *thumb up*

3. resel - May 9, 2007

I think you did a good job here. The situation is imaginable as you gave quite a nice describtion of it. But sometimes you switch between simple past and simple present while describing what the persons are doing -maybe you did that on purpose to say that, for example Maureen in the end, already sat down before she speaks. It would have been easier to understand if you had given the information in the right place.

4. gruelli - May 9, 2007

I like the introduction you gave in the beginning, so that you can imagine the situation quite well. Maybe you could have said more about what they are doing when they are talking but that is probably easier said than done for they are actually doing nothing but standing there. In the end you used simple past while you began with simple present. All in all I think this is a good screenplay and it is easy to read for you chose the right form.

5. bennifo - May 9, 2007

In my opinion it is a quite well done screenplay.But I think you could play a bit more with the different camera perspectives,because you only switched the camera 3 or 4 times and mostly in the beginning.But all in all it is easy to imagine and good.=)

6. subone - May 9, 2007

nice and technical!
i like the screenplay because of the precise information about the camera
this little language mistakes i only noticed after reading resel`s comment 😉
i like it
sUb.


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