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At Martin’s house May 2, 2007

Posted by resel in screenplays.

EXT. IN FRONT OF A DOOR – NIGHT EXTREME CLOSE-UP on a lock of a door. A key is inserted and turned in it. MARTIN turns and faces JJ, JESS and MAUREEN. 

 Listen. There’ll probably be someone
 in there.

 In your flat? Who?

 I don’t know what you’d call her.
 My date. Whatever. 

 You had a date for the evening?

 What kind of date ends up with you
 sitting on the fucking ledge of a
 tower block?

 An unsuccessful one.

He turns around again, opening the door. 


Martin comes in, ushering JJ, Maureen and Jess in ahead of him. In the background Penny, who is sitting on the sofa, looks up. Her eyes are red and we can see that she has been crying. While the other ones gaze at her Martin slowly enters the room, looking to the ground.

 Where have you been?

 Just out. Met some … you know.

 And which crowd are they?

  (her eyes wide opened)
 You’re Penny Chambers.

 Penny Chambers. Rise and Shine with
 Penny and Martin.

 Are you two going out?

 You’d better ask him. 

 Are you two going out?

 I’m sorry.

 Answer the question. I’m interested. 

 It’s complicated. You knew that.


 You knew I wasn’t happy.

 Yes. I knew you weren’t happy. But I
 didn’t know you were unhappy about me. 

 I wasn’t … it’s not … can we talk
 later? In private?

 And when will we be in private?

 Soon. But probably not immediately. 

 Right. And what do we talk about in the
 meantime?  With your three friends here?

 We need a drink. Would you mind if
 they stayed for one?

Without waiting for Penny’s answer Martin goes to a small fridge in the corner of the room. Penny angrily looks to the ground. We hear the sounds of Martin taking glasses and a bottle in the background while JJ and Jess give each other looks. Martin sits down opposite to Penny, opening the bottle of whiskey. In the meantime the others slowly sit down next to him. During he talks Martin pours out drinks for JJ, Maureen and Jess, who took the glasses and are now holding them in their hands. Penny watches this suspiciously.

     (not looking in Penny’s face)
 Sorry, Penny, this is JJ, Maureen,
 Jess, JJ, Maureen, Jess, this is Penny.

Martin puts the bottle on the table and takes a big gulp of whiskey.    

 But you still haven’t told me who
 they are?

 It’s a long story. Maureen I know from …
 (to Maureen) where did we meet, Maureen?
 First of all?

Maureen stares at him.

 It’s along time ago now, isn’t it? We’ll
 remember in a minute. And JJ used to be
 part in the old Channel 5 crowd, and
 Jess is his girlfriend.

Jess strikingly puts her arm around JJ with an exaggerated smile on her face. 

 Where were you all tonight?

 At … like … a party.

       (to Martin)
 And why did you want to go? At eleven
 thirty? In the middle of a dinner party?
 Without me?

      (looking down)
 That I can’t explain. 

Penny looks at him for a long time. Martin still doesn’t look at her but runs his finger around the rim of his glass. Penny, who had lent forward, suddenly leans back, her face is turning into stone.

 You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?
 … (with a shaky voice) Well?

Martin doesn’t react. Suddenly Penny gets up, clenches her fists and tries to hit him. Martin stands up too and holds her fist to stop her. Finally she lets go off him, looking at him with tears in her eyes. 

                 (shouting at him)
 You fucking bastard!

Penny run out of the room in a rage, slamming the door on her door out. CLOSE-UP on Martin’s face. He sighs deeply.

Julia & Theresa ( p.67-74 )



1. bennifo - May 9, 2007

I think your screenplay is very well.There are lots of thoughts about camera and the different facial expressions so you are able to “see the scene in your mind”.very well done!

2. knuffelmock - May 9, 2007

It is a nice screneplay but I have found only one camera command and this was at the end of the screneplay. It would be easier to imagine if there were more camera commands.

3. jenny5 - May 9, 2007

The screenplay is good, but i also see only one camera command…but you can imagine how the actors have to play and interact with each other.

4. karlinchen - May 9, 2007

I would agree to Davids comment. All in all it’s more than perfect, it is long and very ostensive because of the many additions you made. But I also think that it would have had a better effect if you had given more different camera commands.

5. olik - May 9, 2007

I like the screenplay. There is not to much text taken from the book, but not to few too: just the most important information to undrerstand the situation and the fellings of the main characters. I can’t say anithing bad about it.

6. subone - May 9, 2007

nearly professional!
very nice screenplay which includes good language and nice ideas
i think it was a lot of work
its simple to imagine what happens to the characters
but we also need some information about the camera-perspectives
apart from that, well done!

7. kecki - May 9, 2007

I think your screenplay is very good, but there are no camera commands in your screenplay. I can`t visualize the scene good, because the camera commands are missing.

8. caedez - May 9, 2007

Nice one but also one big mistake –> why do you have only one camera command. The others said everything 😉

9. enterpr1ze - May 9, 2007

Really good work, but it will be great if you bring some camera movements into this screenplay. It will help us to imagine the whole situation better.

10. lenchen - May 9, 2007

I could not say anything different from what the others have said. I think it is very well done butlike the others I would advise you to write more camera commands so that we could imagine a bit better but all in all a perfect work.

11. benchi - May 9, 2007

I would also agree with the others. I like your screenplay very much. It’s easy to imagine what happens but I think also that you should bring more camera perspectives.

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